HOW TO ANALAYSE A PERSON, TO IF HE IS GOOD OR BAD. [MY EXPIRENCE]
- Eshaaan
- 2 days ago
- 6 min read
Analyzing a person is one of the most fundamental, yet complex, things we do as humans. It begins the moment we see or interact with someone, and it never truly stops, because people are not static they grow, shift, adapt, hide, reveal, break, and rebuild. To “analyze” someone is not just to label them good or bad, trustworthy or fake it’s to study their emotional texture, behavioral patterns, and how they align or clash with your own internal world. It is a deeply personal process, because what one person sees as loyalty, another might interpret as possessiveness. What feels like honesty to one might feel like blunt cruelty to another. Therefore, the first, most crucial step in analyzing someone else is knowing yourself. Your values, your traumas, your sensitivities, your hopes, your boundaries these act like colored lenses through which you see and interpret every person you meet. If you don’t understand your own emotional filters, you may misread others. You might be drawn to someone toxic because their behavior feels familiar from your past, or you might reject someone kind because they trigger an old fear of vulnerability. So the work always begins with inward clarity. Who are you? What do you need from people? What wounds are still open? What behaviors feel safe or unsafe to you? Once you’ve done that inner work, your ability to analyze others becomes more focused, not fogged by confusion or projection.
From that grounded place, you then enter the realm of first impressions. These are quick, gut-level reactions that happen before any words are exchanged. You notice how the person walks, how they hold themselves, what their eyes do, how they carry their energy. Some people come across as open and friendly; others feel guarded or intense. Some are loud and expressive, while others are quiet and watchful. These early impressions matter because they plant the seed of how you perceive someone, but they are also dangerous because they can be misleading. A person who is shy might come across as arrogant. Someone who smiles a lot might be masking deep sadness. Someone who jokes all the time might be avoiding pain. So while first impressions are valuable, they must never be treated as the final judgment. They are only the opening sentence of a much larger story.
As you move past that surface, you begin to observe behavior. This is where real analysis begins. You watch how the person behaves across different settings, not just when they’re around you, but when they’re with others especially those who have nothing to offer them. How do they treat waiters? Drivers? Strangers? Animals? People they disagree with? If their kindness only extends to those who benefit them, that’s not kindness that’s performance. Similarly, you pay attention to how consistent their words and actions are. Do they say one thing and do another? Are they dependable, or do they constantly make excuses? Can they admit when they’re wrong, or do they deflect and blame others? These behavioral patterns are much more telling than any story they tell about themselves. A person’s actions under pressure when they’re tired, stressed, angry, or rejected are the truest reflection of who they are, because in those moments, the mask slips. The ability to stay respectful even during frustration is a sign of emotional maturity. On the flip side, someone who is sweet only when things are going well, but cruel the moment things go wrong, is someone to be cautious of.
Then comes the art of listening. Deeply, intentionally, and without jumping to respond. People reveal themselves not just in what they say, but in how they say it, what they emphasize, what they leave out, and how their stories evolve over time. When you listen, ask yourself: do they gossip a lot? Are they always the victim in every story? Do they ever take responsibility for mistakes? Are they humble about their achievements, or constantly fishing for validation? Do they talk down to people behind their backs while pretending to like them in person? Also, listen for patterns of exaggeration, contradiction, or evasiveness. If someone’s stories constantly shift depending on who they’re with or if their past feels suspiciously perfect or dramatic, that’s a red flag. At the same time, notice the silences the topics they avoid, the emotions they deflect. Sometimes the deepest truths are found in what is left unsaid. Someone who never shares anything personal might be hiding or emotionally unavailable. Someone who overshares too quickly might be manipulating sympathy or skipping real trust-building.
Once you’ve observed and listened, the next phase is experiential testing. Not in a fake, manipulative way but through natural, everyday experiences that reveal someone's character. Share something personal, something small. Do they protect that information, or do they mention it to others? Ask them for a small favor. Do they help willingly or act burdened? Say “no” to them. Do they respect your boundary or try to guilt-trip or manipulate you? Disagree with them politely. Do they become defensive, insulted, or aggressive? These micro-interactions are essential because they give you a glimpse into how the person handles closeness, vulnerability, disappointment, and boundaries. True trust is not built in big, dramatic gestures it’s built in a hundred small moments where someone chooses to be kind, honest, and respectful when they could easily be the opposite. You also pay attention to how they treat you when you’re at your worst. If they only stick around when you’re fun, happy, and useful, but vanish when you’re struggling, that’s not a friend that’s a tourist in your life.
Then there is the concept of emotional impact, which is perhaps the most intimate and least logical part of this process. How does your body feel around this person? Do you feel safe, relaxed, and calm or anxious, tense, and guarded? Do you feel like you can be yourself, or do you have to perform, filter, and walk on eggshells? Our bodies carry intelligence that our minds often overlook. If someone consistently makes you feel small, stupid, or confused, even if you can’t explain why, that is worth examining. Emotional safety is the foundation of every healthy relationship, and if someone constantly drains your energy, it doesn’t matter how funny or smart or popular they are they are not good for you. People who care about you will make space for your emotions, even if they don’t always understand them. They will not weaponize your weaknesses, use your vulnerability against you, or disappear when you become a burden.
All of these steps observation, listening, testing, emotional awareness eventually lead to judgment. This is not the same as condemning someone or putting them in a rigid box. It is the process of coming to a clear, grounded decision about who this person is in your life. Do they align with your values? Do they treat you and others with kindness and respect? Do you feel better or worse when they’re around? Can you trust them with your secrets, your dreams, your truth? Are they consistent, emotionally mature, and honest? If the answer is “no” to most of these, then it may be time to redefine the relationship not out of bitterness, but out of self-respect. If the answer is “yes,” then you may have found someone worth building a deeper connection with. But even here, the story doesn’t end. People change. You change. Your judgment must remain flexible, open to updates, and willing to release people who no longer fit into your growth, just as you hope others will give you that same grace.
In the end, analyzing a person is not about being cynical, paranoid, or hyper-critical. It’s about being awake. Awake to your own needs, awake to the signs people give off, awake to the truth behind the words. It’s about learning how to love wisely with your eyes open and your heart protected. It’s about building relationships based not on illusion or desperation, but on shared values, mutual care, and real trust. The longer you sit with this process, the clearer it becomes. Every interaction is data. Every feeling is a signal. Every pattern is a message. And the more patient, honest, and intentional you are, the more likely you are to surround yourself with people who nourish your soul, not drain it. That is the real goal not to judge everyone, but to choose wisely who gets access to your time, your energy, your heart, and your future.
THE END